How to Cope With Difficult Emotions Using Mindfulness

The heart of mindfulness practice is embracing what’s happening in our mind and body. And because we’re all human, this naturally includes our emotions, many of which can be painful and difficult to process.

When something unpleasant happens in your life or if you’re working through past trauma, strong emotions like sadness, grief, anger, or frustration are normal. But they’re often hard to deal with on our own without feeling overwhelmed. And while we can’t always escape difficult emotions as they arise, we have a choice in how we respond so we don’t add to our existing pain. 

So when your heart’s pounding with fear or you feel a gut-wrenching sense of sadness, longing, or grief, how can mindfulness help?

Through cultivating the ability to be with what is even in the face of difficulty, mindfulness boosts your sense of resilience. You feel more empowered to handle even the emotionally challenging parts of life. Here’s some guidance from the world of mindfulness to help you cope better in difficult times.

Label your feelings to bring relief and create space

Your emotions are something you feel. This in effect means that you are not them. Yet when negative emotions arise, it can feel like they’re literally overcoming you. This is because on the biological level, emotions come with neurochemicals. These are what cause you to feel the sensations that you feel in your body.

The moment you can distance your sense of self from your emotions, you can start to feel lighter. This does not mean you repress or deny the emotions however!  You feel the sensations. You feel the pain. You feel the grief. But you also feel something greater…you recognize the space between the awareness that’s noticing your emotion and the emotion itself.

When you label your feelings and emotions, it’s easier to disentangle your sense of self from them. When you feel angry, for example, notice that you are not your anger. You are the one who’s feeling anger. Its neurochemicals are simply flowing through you for the time being. While it might not seem like much of a difference, this mindfulness exercise can help you see that since you’re feeling one way, you have the ability to feel another way if you choose to redirect your attention elsewhere. You may also consider writing them down in a journal. Capture your thoughts and emotional experiences in this mindfulness journal to help deepen your practice.

Shift awareness away from the difficult sensation

When you experience a difficult emotion, think about what you could shift your awareness to that could make you feel better…at least for the moment. Are there things you can be grateful for such as your health or your loved ones?

When you focus on something that brings you a sense of joy or gratitude, the difficult emotion feels less overpowering. Even a hug from a family member, partner, or friend can shift your mood as you feel cared for and supported. 

Practicing mindfulness helps you be more intentional about where you place your awareness. As you notice your mind’s automatic (and often negative) patterns, you’ll start to see that you can shift your focus away from these painful patterns and onto other more empowering thoughts. 

Furthermore, listening to calming music can also help soothe your emotions. You can check out these videos to help you shift your awareness from difficult sensations: deep focus, guided meditations, and stress management.

Shift awareness to the sensation of the emotion

Yes, this is the opposite of what we’re talking about above. But it can be just as effective. Bringing awareness to the sensation of the emotion helps you process that emotion in the long-term. Rather than turning your attention away from what feels bad, see what it feels like to sense into it instead.

Bring awareness to your body and the sensations associated with the emotion you feel. Where exactly are you noticing that fear, sadness, grief, or anger? Is it in the pit of your gut? Is there a constricting sensation in your heart? Are your palms sweating?

When you find where the emotion is happening in your body, see if you can sit with it without judgment.

Can you let it be as you remember that every sensation will eventually pass? Is there any way you can move your body to allow the emotion to pass freely such as running, dancing, shaking, or crying?

Your brain’s naturally going to resist this process. It wants to run away from anything that could be a potential threat. Sometimes what we eat can also impact our ability to process emotions. Consider taking Natural Vitality Calm Magnesium plus Calcium that supports mood balance and overall well-being. Aside from taking nutritional supplements, the beauty of mindfulness is that it can help you cultivate the strength and courage to face difficulties by noticing that who you are as awareness is greater than those difficulties.

Use the difficult emotion as an object of meditation

You’ve probably heard of using the breath as an object of meditation. But emotions? Yes, they can be used as a tool in your mindfulness toolkit too! Just like how you can pay attention to your bodily sensations without judgement, you can do the same with feelings and emotions.

When you make your emotion an object of your meditation, you’re choosing to do the opposite of turning away from the emotion. You’re intentionally going back to it. So why on earth would you do this?

The more you shift awareness to that difficult emotion with intention, the more you’ll feel the associated feelings. This allows you to process them. The neurochemicals of the emotion flow out of the body faster when you don’t resist them.

The key of this practice is to notice the painful feeling while remaining curious about its source. Was it the event or person that caused what you’re feeling right now or is it the mental rumination or story around this emotion that’s keeping the pain active?

"Feel the feelings and drop the story." - Pema Chödrön

Set boundaries and communicate your needs

Honoring your personal needs is an act of self-care. It shows that you’re not willing to stand up for behavior that could harm you or others. So if you’re going through a difficult emotion because of something someone else said or did to you, set boundaries to reduce the chances of the hurtful situation happening again.

This can help the other person go deeper within to realize the consequences of their own actions. It might even prevent them from harming you or others in the future.

Sometimes when you’re going through a tough time, you may not feel like seeing or talking to anyone. So be kind and gentle with yourself as you bring awareness to your own needs. Then communicate these needs to your loved ones so they can support you more effectively.

Reflect on your past wisdom and experience

Sometimes one of the best ways to get through difficult emotions is to recall your strength in being able to handle challenges in the past. As you consider other painful experiences you’ve gone through, can you think of at least one way in which these challenges helped you grow?

Many of our most difficult experiences often end up being our greatest teachers. They can present opportunities that we would’ve never seen if the difficult experience hadn't happened.

When you look back at your life and notice the potential good that these difficult experiences have brought, it can help you recognize that no matter what, you’ll be able to make it through this.

Reclaim your inner power with mindfulness

Mindfulness can help you see that who you are is bigger than the difficult circumstances around you or your thoughts about those circumstances.

Whatever you’re going through, remember that you’re not in it alone. As you recognize our common humanity, feel the relief in knowing that there’s someone who’s been through something similar to what you’re experiencing. Feel compassion for yourself and for whoever else is feeling these feelings.

Mindfulness can help you cultivate the emotional intelligence to be able to navigate difficult emotions more smoothly. Do you have a fast-paced and stressful career and you are interested in learning how to manage your stress using holistic mindfulness? Check out our 7 Days to Less Stress Program!

For a more profound mindfulness experience, explore the Mindful Problem Solving Practice, a free download that helps you to become familiar with how you approach puzzles. After completing this practice, you will discover a new approach to problems in your life!